Showing posts with label Laughable. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Laughable. Show all posts

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Uwe Boll Beats Up Four of His Critics

He may be a terrible scamming movie director but he seriously wasn't joking when he challenged his critics to boxing matches, one after another he won. Lowtax (founder of Something Awful) in particular played the part of the nerdy kid who gets beat up by the big bully pretty well.


Richard Kyanka (Lowtax of Something Awful) vs. Uwe (Winner: Uwe)



I'm sorry Lowtax but running around like that won't win you any cheers here, you have to actually punch the other guy and by punch you have to actually hurt him. Acting like a nerdy little kid won't win you the audiences appreciation here.


Jeff Sneider (of 'Aint it Cool') vs. Uwe (Winner: Uwe)



Turning your back on your opponent to avoid getting punched in the face? There's a better way, face your opponent and punch him. Oh, by the way, At least have the dignity of getting the shit beat out of you instead of just giving up like that.

You bowed out because you thought it was a PR stunt instead of 'getting punched in the head'. I've got news for you: The PR stunt involved you 'getting punched in the head', if you at least returned the favour...


Nelson Chance Minister (17 year old blogger) vs. Uwe (Winner: Uwe)



You're only 17 but by and far you put up the best fight and ended it well too, even if you did lose you get my thumbs up for taking it with grace. Faced the enemy, got beat up, but you can still hold your head up high.


Chris Alexander of Rue Morgue radio vs. Uwe (winner: Uwe)

[See second half of Richard Kyanka (Lowtax of Something Awful) vs. Uwe]

You lost, and your little trick where you pretended to spew out blood was pathetic to say the least. "It was my Jedi mind trick to try and disorient him", given you lost it worked perfectly. Seriously dude, did faking internal bleeding get you out of getting bullied back at school?

Uwe Boll might have beat up his critics but that doesn't change the fact he's a terrible scamming movie director. I give him some respect for going through with the fight, not joking and being 100% serious about it. It's a shame that only one person, a 17 year old blogger actually put up a fight against Uwe.

Friday, July 20, 2007

The Valve Conspiracy

It has been proven without a doubt that Valve is involved in some global videogame conspiracy to not develop games for Linux, while there are many, many developers who don't ever make games for Linux it is apparent that Valve deserves to get the criticism for not porting its games to Linux.

So off went the rioters, running their pirated Vista computers demanding Linux support. 'We want teh linux0rz!' they screamed, anti-establishment all the way, the true revolutionaries of the software world. They wanted an end to the global oppression of Linux by the game developers of the world starting with Valve who as everyone knows is spearheading this plan to end Linux support for games.

Seriously, short of re-writing their engines for OpenGL and Linux and getting and hiring an extra ten people to help with the porting and new games Valve is always working on this isn't going to happen.

Monday, July 9, 2007

People Who Got Scared Playing Doom 3

When Doom 3 was just released the web was flooded with videos of people getting scared playing it. It got so bad that Kevin Rose and Alex did a parody of one of the videos on Tech TV.






Monday, June 11, 2007

Shadow Run Machinima

Creators of Red vs Blue tackle Shadow Run in their new Machinima, '1-800-MAGIC'.

"A Valve employee will never ask a user for his/her username and password"

Some kid tries to steal another persons username and password for Steam, and well, it sure ends in typical ironic fashion.

br0kenrabbit says:
hi

Greg_ValveOLS says:
good evening

br0kenrabbit says:
What's ip?

br0kenrabbit says:
up?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
my name is greg a member of the valve online Support team

br0kenrabbit says:
On MSN?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
yes :)

br0kenrabbit says:
Why?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
we logged multiple ips from your account and ned to verifi your information

br0kenrabbit says:
My information?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
we believe someone may have stolen your account mmmm you havent shared youre account infomation with anyone have you?

br0kenrabbit says:
No. I don't even have it written down.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
hmmm maybe a keylogger on you r PC then maybe you need a format?

br0kenrabbit says:
Well...

Greg_ValveOLS says:
if you can verify your account information to me i can insure that only your ip have access to it Its a new security feature were trying because this happens so muchlogin names and passwords aint safe anymroe You know. L:)

br0kenrabbit says:
Well

Greg_ValveOLS says:
dont worry this connect it secure

br0kenrabbit says:
Can I be honest with you, Greg?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
k

br0kenrabbit says:
Look, I don't know how you go this MSN account name, don't really care, either.

br0kenrabbit says:
Unlike you, I DO work for Valve. Trace my ip and you'll see.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
huh?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
bs

br0kenrabbit says:
Trace it.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
how

br0kenrabbit says:
Start/run/cmd type Tracert and then my IP address and hit enter.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
oh k

br0kenrabbit says:
As an employee, I know that Valve employees will NEVER contact users over MSN. I also know a valve employee will NEVER ask a user for his/her username and password.

br0kenrabbit says:
I'm putting a temporary hold on your Steam account.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
why?

br0kenrabbit says:
Have you read the ToS?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
Tod?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
tos

br0kenrabbit says:
terms of service

Greg_ValveOLS says:
were?

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg, this is a serious infraction against the Tos. You are at risk of losing your account.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
why

br0kenrabbit says:
I just told you why

Greg_ValveOLS says:
:(

br0kenrabbit says:
I need some information from you if you want me to unlock you account. I'm going to write you up but I will only suspend you account for three days, since this is your first infraction, okay?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
k

br0kenrabbit says:
First, what is the name the account is registered to. Not the user name, the persons real name who created the account. This is for verification purposes.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxx xxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Is this you?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
Are you the only user of this account?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay, and what is the username

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay.

br0kenrabbit says:
I see you have purchased a few of our games, thank you. :)

Greg_ValveOLS says:
some. dude

Greg_ValveOLS says:
m

br0kenrabbit says:
Do you always log on from the same IP?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
And who is your internet providers, your ISP?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Thank you. One moment, please, let me verify this information.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
am i gonna be bale to play 2nite?

br0kenrabbit says:
What is your city of residence?

br0kenrabbit says:
That depends on if you cooperate. You're doing fine so far.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Illinios?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
yes

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay. And what is the password associated with this account?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
xxxxxxx

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay. Do not try to log into steam. If you are connected now you need to log off.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
why

br0kenrabbit says:
So I can update your account.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
can I play 2 nite

Greg_ValveOLS says:
clan fight

Greg_ValveOLS says:
wont win without me heh

br0kenrabbit says:
Heh. You'll have to wait a few minutes. Are you logged off?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
ya

br0kenrabbit says:
Okay. Give me just a moment.

br0kenrabbit says:
Try to log in now.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
k

Greg_ValveOLS says:
It says login failed wtf wtf!!@?

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg

Greg_ValveOLS says:
did u ban me???????????>WHY

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg

Greg_ValveOLS says:
what

br0kenrabbit says:
Valve will never ask for your username and password.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
what????

br0kenrabbit says:
I don't work for Valve dude, but you just got pwnt.

Greg_ValveOLS says:
omg dude wtf why?

br0kenrabbit says:
Why were you trying to steal my account?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
i wanst

br0kenrabbit says:
Then why were you asking for my information?

Greg_ValveOLS says:
i was just making a joke but not cerious honest dude just give
my acount back pllllleeease i'm only 13 and save d up for like a year to buy it

br0kenrabbit says:
Greg

Greg_ValveOLS says:
dude pleas

Greg_ValveOLS says:
what

br0kenrabbit says:
Go mow some yards, bitch.



The offenders account was given back the following day.


VIA Futuremark Forums