Saturday, July 21, 2007

Uwe Boll Beats Up Four of His Critics

He may be a terrible scamming movie director but he seriously wasn't joking when he challenged his critics to boxing matches, one after another he won. Lowtax (founder of Something Awful) in particular played the part of the nerdy kid who gets beat up by the big bully pretty well.

Richard Kyanka (Lowtax of Something Awful) vs. Uwe (Winner: Uwe)

I'm sorry Lowtax but running around like that won't win you any cheers here, you have to actually punch the other guy and by punch you have to actually hurt him. Acting like a nerdy little kid won't win you the audiences appreciation here.

Jeff Sneider (of 'Aint it Cool') vs. Uwe (Winner: Uwe)

Turning your back on your opponent to avoid getting punched in the face? There's a better way, face your opponent and punch him. Oh, by the way, At least have the dignity of getting the shit beat out of you instead of just giving up like that.

You bowed out because you thought it was a PR stunt instead of 'getting punched in the head'. I've got news for you: The PR stunt involved you 'getting punched in the head', if you at least returned the favour...

Nelson Chance Minister (17 year old blogger) vs. Uwe (Winner: Uwe)

You're only 17 but by and far you put up the best fight and ended it well too, even if you did lose you get my thumbs up for taking it with grace. Faced the enemy, got beat up, but you can still hold your head up high.

Chris Alexander of Rue Morgue radio vs. Uwe (winner: Uwe)

[See second half of Richard Kyanka (Lowtax of Something Awful) vs. Uwe]

You lost, and your little trick where you pretended to spew out blood was pathetic to say the least. "It was my Jedi mind trick to try and disorient him", given you lost it worked perfectly. Seriously dude, did faking internal bleeding get you out of getting bullied back at school?

Uwe Boll might have beat up his critics but that doesn't change the fact he's a terrible scamming movie director. I give him some respect for going through with the fight, not joking and being 100% serious about it. It's a shame that only one person, a 17 year old blogger actually put up a fight against Uwe.

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